We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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