how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
