we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
