I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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