you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
