somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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