Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Found the puke drawer
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
