God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
