me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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