I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
