Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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