Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
