its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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