Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
