New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
