my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
