the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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