So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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