i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
