Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
