He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
