Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
