my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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