i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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