I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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