She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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