Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Im just a social blackout drinker.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Randomize
