you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
