At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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