and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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