last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
