Ambien. No doubt about it.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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