It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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