just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
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