Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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