and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
