I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
