K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
