Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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