The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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