Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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