Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
