why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
