They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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