i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
