sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
