he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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