i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
