Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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