We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
