I'd wear matching sweaters with you
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
