He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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