OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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